


Gentle

by engels



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Coming Untouched, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 23:32:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5183885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engels/pseuds/engels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Take my pain, leave my pleasure.</p><p>Alternatively titled: "The Emo Rollercoaster Smutfest That I Shouldn't Have Written But It's Too Late To Turn Back"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gentle

BANG BANG BANG!

The pounding on the door grew louder and more insistent with every passing second. A voice yelled over the noise, but it was intelligible. Or, at least, he thought it was. He didn’t know. 

The words sounded jumbled to him. The sound didn’t make sense. He watched the door frame shake under the force of the banging. Was it shaking? He didn’t know. The room was probably shaking on its own, or at least the walls; they swelled and exhaled around him like a living animal.

BANG BANG BANG!

Whatever was there was relentless. He wanted to open the door and scream at the beast to GO AWAY! LEAVE HIM ALONE! But his legs didn’t work. His arms didn’t work. His lungs didn’t work, and his brain didn’t work.

If his brain didn’t work, then nothing around him worked. He knew he had to escape right _now_ , and run, run, _run_ until he got somewhere that made sense. He paced the room, wearing burning tracks into the carpet, wringing his hands like his terror was burying into his veins.

The door was flung open and hit the wall with a forceful bang, and he found himself staring directly into the maul of the beast. Except it didn’t look very much like a monster, it looked a little like an agonized drummer with furrowed brows and beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, and a very, very deep worry in his eyes. 

Josh flew across the room, hands sinking into Tyler’s shaking shoulders. “Tyler, Tyler!” He didn’t know what else to do besides cry his name and hope that he heard it, and would come back to him. Josh felt like he was shaking a shell, felt like he could press his ear to Tyler’s chest and hear his soul rattling around an empty ribcage.

Tyler’s eyes slid across Josh’s face, unfocused. Josh followed his gaze with his own, trying to look into his pupils. When he did, he found an expressionless black void. He looked farther, searching for the light in Tyler’s eyes, and finding nothing. Josh suddenly felt like he was holding up a corpse. The terror that seized Josh felt like pure ice, and he blanked into an instant panic.

Josh steered Tyler into the bathroom, kicking open the door and dragging Tyler into the bathtub after him. Tyler’s body felt like it was feverish, heat radiating from his trembling skin. Josh’s torso was pressed to Tyler’s back as he reached forward past them both. He ran the water, cold, over Tyler’s body, frantically brushing his hair back as the stream rolled over them both. His hands shook and his breath came out in short chokes, but Josh was working on pure instinct.

“What did you take? Tyler!” Josh demanded, voice high and panic evident. “ _What did you take?_ ”

Tyler’s head lolled back onto Josh’s shoulder behind him, heavy-lidded, water running down his clammy skin in rivulets. “Josh.” His voice was hollow like Josh had never heard it before.

“Don’t try to talk, Tyler, okay? You need to throw up, okay?” Josh struggled to keep his tone as even as possible. “Open your mouth. Open your mouth." His hand cupped Tyler’s chin, coaxing his mouth open. “I’m sorry about this.”

Tyler heaved and heaved as Josh stuck his fingers down his throat. His shoulders shook violently as his stomach turned itself inside out. Josh placed a steadying hand between Tyler’s shoulder blades, letting him go until his heaves turned to sobs.

Josh tucked his face into the side of Tyler’s neck, smoothing his hand over Tyler’s forehead. Tyler gasped through the downpour. “I’m tired.”

“I know, Ty, I know, I know.” Josh muttered into his skin. Gently, he guided them both down, settling Tyler between his legs, cradling his head against his upper chest. Soaked clothing clung to bodies, freezing skin clung to bone. Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler’s chest and midsection, holding him tightly. Water continued to beat them from above, running around them and down the drain, washing them clean. Tyler breathed heavy and slow, each breath letting out a little bit more of the pain in his chest, until it mingled with the water and also ran down the drain.

It was still dark outside when Josh collected Tyler’s wet clothes and hung them to dry, before returning with a stack of fresh towels for him. Tyler brushed his teeth with a weak arm, then stood on the cold bathroom tile in bare feet, staring at nothing, vulnerable and bare, a sallow ghost as Josh wrapped him in a soft white towel. Modesty was the furthest thought from either of their minds. Tyler swayed slightly in the cold as Josh wordlessly led him out of the bathroom by his shoulders.

As Josh sat him down on the edge of bed, he swore he had never seen such a broken being. Tyler’s lips were a pale blue, eyes dull and lifeless, head bent and hands folded in his lap. Josh climbed onto the bed, sitting behind him as he gently toweled off Tyler’s hair. It felt like taking care of a child. Neither of them had said a word in hours. There wasn’t anything to say.

Josh dropped the towel at the side of the bed, moving backwards on the bed to make room. He pulled Tyler in with him, pulled him flush against his body. They lay on their side, Tyler tucked with his back against Josh’s broad chest, Josh’s face at the back of Tyler’s neck, Josh’s legs entwined with Tyler’s; they fit perfectly together. Their breathing in sync, chests expanding and collapsing in time with each others’. 

Feeling Tyler’s heartbeat still go on against his chest, Josh had never felt such a profound sadness. It overtook him and swallowed him whole. He wanted to cry, he wanted to sob until his back broke, but he couldn’t do anything but bury his face deeper into Tyler’s neck, and breath in more of him.

He didn’t know how long they laid like that, until he could feel Tyler shuddering against him. A flash of panic struck him again for the umpteenth time that horrible night, and Josh propped himself up on one elbow and swiftly turned Tyler to face him. 

Tyler’s beautiful face was in twisted agony as his eyes sought Josh’s. They watered and glistened, and Josh saw a tiny scrap of that light he craved flicker behind a terrible sadness. Tyler’s lips parted as he quivered like a leaf, eyes silently pleading, and Josh knew what he needed. He needed to leave his head for a little while, and if there was anything at all Josh could give him, he would, and more.

Josh dipped his head and Tyler met him halfway. Their lips connected so gently, feather-light. Josh felt Tyler’s eyes close as his lashes ticked his cheek. He tasted like salt and minty sweetness, he tasted like heaven.

Josh never felt anything as soft as Tyler’s lips. He didn’t know if Tyler was truly as gentle as an angel on earth, or if he simply didn’t have the energy to give. That horrible sadness blossomed in Josh’s belly again like black ink in water, and he broke the kiss to plant kisses down Tyler’s cheek and jaw.

He laid back down beside Tyler on his side, while Tyler remained on his back, head tilted to allow Josh access to his throat. One of Josh’s hands caressed the side of Tyler’s face, holding him close to him as he nipped and sucked from his jaw to his shoulder. He brushed his mouth over Tyler’s throat, breath hot and lips delicate.

Tyler’s breathing began to speed up through his nose, hitching in his throat. The hand that had been cradling his face grazed down to play at his collarbone, fingertips tracing lines into Tyler’s tanned skin. 

Josh went so slowly, took so much care. His heart fluttered in his chest as his jaw continued to work, marking purple splotches into Tyler’s skin. Josh let his other hand creep under Tyler’s head, holding him close.

Delicately, Josh trailed his fingers down Tyler’s bare chest and over his stomach. He hardly touched him, instead hovered above and felt how warm Tyler was, how his muscles rolled and moved. When he let his hand touch Tyler’s abdomen, it felt like placing an open palm against a mighty tree trunk. The energy radiating from Tyler was like a humming force that drove Josh crazy, possessed him to sink his hand lower, slipping underneath the edge of the towel still wrapped around Tyler’s waist.

Josh let his lips fall away from the side of Tyler’s neck for a moment, craning away just enough to see Tyler’s face as he wrapped his hand around his cock. Tyler’s eyes rolled upward under his closed lids, head tilting back a little further against the pillows, mouth falling open the tiniest bit. Josh stayed laying on his side, other hand threading through Tyler’s hair and lightly scratching his scalp and he stroked Tyler’s cock. It was a dry friction, and after a moment, Josh retracted his hand. 

He brought it up to his lips and slicked his fingers before sliding back down again, earning himself another soft hum from Tyler. Josh slid along Tyler’s length with greater ease now, gripping with moderate pressure as he sank slowly and deliberately from root to tip. When Josh swiped a thumb over the head, Tyler made his first sound out loud, a quiet gasp that quickly faded into a moan. 

Josh continued to watch Tyler, eyes trained on his face as he watched the shadows his dark lashes cast against his cheeks, the way his chin fell in silent moans on every upstroke. Gaining in boldness, Josh gave his next upstroke a slight flick of the wrist, twisting in delicious pleasure. Tyler’s hips lifted slightly, a reflex action, and his jaw clenched, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed down high noises. 

Only when Josh noticed the blush creeping prettily up Tyler’s chest and and cheeks did he realized how _incredibly_ turned on he was. His gut twisted and flipped in chorus with each one of Tyler’s sinful whimpers, cock straining almost painfully against his boxers. He struggled to push the distraction out of his mind. This wasn’t for him. He didn’t need this; Tyler did.

Speeding up his hand around Tyler’s cock, Josh bent his face back against Tyler’s neck. He breathed deeply in through his nose, taking in his scent, and let his mouth fall back open, sucking under Tyler’s jaw. Tyler was making near-constant gasps and moans at this time, eyes still closed. Josh felt his muscles twitch and tense. 

He combed through Tyler’s hair, licked at his neck, pumped his cock faster and faster. Tyler began to let out breathy whines to the ceiling, growing higher in pitch until Josh knew he was hurtling toward the finish line. The fire in Josh’s belly and untouched cock grew in ferocity at the same time, and Josh was certain he would have to step outside for some air after Tyler finished, if only to calm his own furious arousal.

Suddenly, a hand closed tightly around Josh’s forearm, nails digging into his skin hard enough to leave red crescent marks. Tyler stiffened, all his muscles would tightly like springs, and emitted a languid, full-bodied moan as he came. 

At the same time, Josh couldn’t take it anymore. Untouched, he reached his breaking point, mouth disconnecting from Tyler’s throat and breathing hard and hot against him. The hand playing with Tyler’s hair tightened and tugged. His eyes clenched shut as he groaned in time with the spasms of orgasm as he came in his boxers, helplessly surrendering to his own pleasure. His hand continued to move rhythmically on Tyler’s cock, drummer’s instinct, letting him ride out his orgasm, feeling Tyler’s come spread inside the towel and run over his hand.

Josh slowly pulled his hand out, wiping off on the towel. Tyler was still panting hard, taking his hand off Josh’s arm and reached up to grab the back of Josh’s head instead, pulling him in. He swallowed Josh’s breaths in a kiss, running his tongue along his bottom lip as he pulled away with exhausted finality.

“Thank you,” he whispered weakly into Josh’s mouth. 

Josh wanted to tell him it was no problem. He wanted to tell him it was his pleasure. He especially wanted to tell him that he would do _anything_ for him, that he would always be there. Out of all the things he wanted to say, Josh said nothing. Instead, he pulled Tyler close to him again, wrapped around him so tightly it was like he was trying to take him inside himself. If he could, he would take Tyler’s whole life upon himself, to care for him and watch over him always. And if he could take his pain, any of the demons that clawed at his chest and mind and screamed him awake through sleepless nights, even a little bit, Josh would do that for him too.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry


End file.
